One Direction – What Makes You Beautiful

This song… this group… the marketing surrounding them is staggering. They were placed directly at the top of the charts not via merit, but because the people who made them also make the charts, and then critics worldwide were paid to claim them as the number one band in the world. This is not a conspiracy, it is how the music industry corporations work. You are told what is good and I’m Morpheus, offering you the red pill.

They had only this one single at the time. Not an album, not even an EP, they had One Song. Anyway, I’m going to stop here and just transcribe a few words via my good buddy Stephen Colbert, as he summed it up better than I could ever hope to. Take it away, Stephen:

“I don’t want a bunch of snaggle tooth, Spotted Dick eating union jack-offs telling America the number of directions we can go in. But I will give them this: their song ‘What Makes You Beautiful’ isn’t just catchy, it’s got a great message. ‘You don’t know you’re beautiful… that’s what makes you beautiful.’ First of all, great dating advice. Remember girls; low self-esteem, very attractive to men. Guys always go for the low hanging fruit, okay? Easy pickins!

Second, the lyrics are incredibly complex, see the boys are saying ‘You don’t know you’re beautiful… that’s what makes you beautiful’ but they’ve just told the girl she’s beautiful, so since she now knows it, she’s no longer beautiful. Stay with me, stay with me, oh, it goes deeper. Okay, but she’s listening to the song too so she knows she’s not beautiful, therefore following the syllogism of the song, she’s instantly beautiful again. It’s like an infinite fractal recursion, a flickering quantum state of both ‘hot’ and ‘not’. I mean, this lyric as iterated algorithm could lead to a whole new musical genre. I call it: Moebius Pop. which would include One Direction and of course the rapper M.C. Escher. He’s ‘in the house’ but also the house is in him.”

Thanks for that. It’s Friday and my contempt for boy bands would have turned me into a Sith.

Alright, I try to offer more than one alternative when I can, so in the spirit of giving, I offer one song that hits the theme of humility being beautiful (A) and then the opposite (B).

(A) Ana carolina and Seu Jorge – 

(B) The Streets – Fit But You Know It 


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