Chris Brown – Don’t Wake Me Up

This should be a short post, because there’s so little going on in this song.

You know you’re in for a good time when the chorus goes like this:

Don’t wake me up, up, up, up up, up
Don’t wake me up, up, up, up up, up
Don’t wake me up, up, up, up up, up
Don’t wake me up
Don’t wake me…If you hadn’t gathered; he doesn’t want to wake up. Luckily he repeats himself over and over for a total of 29 don’t wake me up’s. Looks like you’re a contender for most repetitions in a song posted on UYM but the title is still held by Rihanna with “Diamonds”. Hopefully that doesn’t make you mad, Chris. We all know what happens when you’re mad.

As an aside to the music producers, we need to talk. Come into my office and close the door, we need to discuss this autotune problem. I know it’s become cliche to make fun of autotune but come on. Cher started the fad in 1998, that’s FOURTEEN YEARS of photoshopping people’s voices and it needs to stop. Nobody likes it anymore (I’d argue that nobody actually liked it even in ’98), so someone just needs to pull their head out of their earphones and wake up. I’m going to count to ten, and if you haven’t stopped I’m going to take off my belt… wait, maybe this whole song is about how much Chris Brown loves autotune, and he doesn’t want to wake up to the cold reality of having to actually sing on key. I think I’m on to something. No, wait, halfway through the song he changes his mind and now he doesn’t want to fall asleep. Face, meet palm.

Back to the lyrics! Here’s one of them! “If your heart is a pillow, this love’s the bed”. If you could see me right now, I’m slow clapping. I’m leaning back in my chair, shaking my head and clapping my hands. This line is so bad that I think we’re going to have to start a monthly contest of some sort where we combine all the terrible attempts at meaningful wordplay from recent music and vote on which one is the worst. So far this is the line to beat.

Since there’s nothing else to this song aside from wanting to not be woken up, I think we’re done with the talking. Your song options are as follows: A song with endless repetition of absolutely meaningless lyrics (A) and a song about metaphorically waking up and breaking free from the music industry (B).

(A) Kiyari Pamyu Pamyu – PONPONPON 
(B) Lauryn hill – I Get Out 

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